Taking inventory

I’ve been going through old files on my computer, purging what is no longer necessary to my current affairs.  Here’s a gem I found in a folder with college applications:

I expect a fantastical journey through Academia, filled with Poetry-Ogres and Analytical-Essay-Dragons that I vanquish with my Sword of Wisdom.  My blade will sharpen with every cut, and slice through brambles of Falsity and forests of Perplexity.  In my quest for Knowledge I will use Tomes of Reference and wise Sages’ Teachings to aid me. The path I forge through Academia will not be straight and narrow, instead winding into the vast realm of Unknowns.  As I explore I will gather Materials used to strengthen my Sword of Wisdom for when I face the Finals-Sorcerer.

I will meet numerous other Knowledge seekers on my journey, all as eager as myself; and each will possess unique Talents as invaluable to my Quest as the Sages’ Teachings.  By sharing with one another our Convictions, we will expand our view of the World and be one step closer to our Ultimate Goal.  Progress-Snatcher-Goblins stand no chance against our Might.

Equipped with my Sword of Wisdom, my journey through the land of Academia will be one of Enlightenment and Growth.  I am aware choosing the path of Knowledge can be fraught with Obstacles, but that is a trifling matter when the Power of Understanding lay at its end.  Therefore, I will persevere. I will attain Victory.

My wit at eighteen is just astounding.  Alas, with some regret I found that Academia wasn’t nearly as fraught, at least not with Poetry-Ogres.